The devastating earthquake that recently hit Haiti, not only killed thousands of people, tore families’ apart, leveled buildings, and robbed a country of its infrastructure; it also demonstrated to us that life should never be taken for granted. This tragedy also forced me to re-examine my own life and ask myself the very tough question, “Am I living my life to the fullest, or do I merely just “exist?”

Needless to say, this question is not always the easiest to answer, as there are many levels that success or happiness is graded upon. Many of us are happy just being housewives; slaves to the daily grind. Don’t get me wrong as the role of a mother and a wife should be embarked upon with the purest of hearts; as a mother’s love is priceless. However, what about your needs as a woman, a human being with your own life? Do you settle when it comes to your own desires?

“But what more do you really want Sandy?” a friend of mine recently asked. “You seem so restless all the time! Just sekkle yuself a bit and tings will work out okay,” he said. That is exactly my point! I am not satisfied with just “Ok”. I want more!

Not riches and fame specifically, but the chance to live my own life, the life given to me by God; to its fullest potential. To others, my ambitions may be misconstrued as being narcissistic or self- centered, as one close male friend jokingly described me recently, while comparing my similarities to another female in the “biz”. It is safe to say that this female entertainer was not a fan of my effervescent personality and sharp, but sometimes devilish, yet playful wit.

“She tink se yu full of yuself,” my friend told me, as this entertainer had disclosed to him recently. “Who cares?” I asked him, laughing out loudly with a gut busting laugh; finding the whole situation amusing and highly entertaining. “She does not know me so why is she watching me? I am not in any race with anyone but myself. Like Oprah suggested, I never look at the person beside me and I just focus on the finish line,” I said to him. Women are often times wrapped up in watching others, never focusing on themselves.” ‘Who does she think she is,” is often whispered behind our backs, while others judge and mock our ambitions. Our lives as mothers, wives and even back stabbing girlfriends, often rob us of the opportunity to harness our own creativity, and “be all that you can be,” as the army slogan suggests.

As Mo’nique recently demonstrated to us by winning a Golden Globe Award, all things are possible and all dreams are attainable. Love and live as if your life depended upon it, as on that day of reckoning in front of God, there should be no regrets in meeting your maker. Ask that man out on a date that you like. Take that trip to Paris or hike the Appalachian Trail! Bungee jump if you want to; just live as if your life depended upon it.

On my own day of atonement, because as we all know that death and taxes are unavoidable, if I am asked by God, “Now what did you do with the life that I granted you Sandy?” I would like my answer to be quick and joyous. “Well Lawd, you know that there was the little ting called an Oscar that I won, and oh yeah, I raised two handsome men on my own who are now both doctors. By the way Lawd, did you ever get the book that I sent you in the mail, the one that I wrote? It became a bestseller you know Lord!

But why am I even saying this to you, the almighty one? Lord, as we all know, you see and know all things; whether it be good or bad.

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Sandy Daley is an actress, writer and a radio and TV host. She may be reached at
sandydaley88@hotmail.com, www.sandydaley.blogspot.com or at www.sandydaley.com.

Jamaican Man back Ina Style fe 2009!

By Sandy Daley

U know se tings really gaan bad when me have to say that Jamaican man come back ina style fe 2009! We all know the track record with our Jamaican men, so let’s not front! Over the last few years, primarily because of a failed common law marriage and some painful experiences with Jamaican men, I have only dated the American brothers.

I thought to myself, “Alright, let me try the other side and see what they have to offer.” But bwoy, from my observations, and my girlfriend’s experiences with the Yankee men, “gimme the Jamaican man any day,” is what I am saying to myself nowadays. From the lawyer in Atlanta, to the manufacturing manager in Ohio, to the big shot IBM Software man in North Carolina, I have discovered, grudgingly so, that I prefer my Island brothers.

Yes, you too Mr. Trinidad. Everybody know se yu like Jamaican women under the quiet! It is not my belief that they were not all bad; maybe my timing was not in sync with theirs or something. I have also come to realize that the values that I grew up with in Jamaica, where having a woman is seen as an honor, most American men have not grasped that concept. Some do I am sure, but I believe that it is instilled in a Caribbean man from his days as a youth, running around in the country, barefoot. The Caribbean men seemingly knows that if he has a woman, it is his responsibility to try to take care of her.

Our Yankee brothers need to be taught, just like the Caribbean man. Now, if this was happening to me alone, then I would walk away and say that this was my entire fault, and I must obviously be doing something wrong. It unfortunately is not, and women are experiencing major letdowns all over the globe. I have one friend in particular, who every other weekend picks herself up, rents a car and drives across the border to visit her so-called “man”. I won’t say which friend of course, she might read this.

Actually, no, she won’t read this, she is probably busy on the phone as we speak, cursing him out, asking him why he has not sent her any money. Again! So, therefore I can continue with my story. I am all for love and the pursuit of happiness, but paying for a rental car every weekend out of my own pocket, losing time and money from my job and driving in the snow, rain or shine, is not a smart move in my opinion. Especially in the snow! Look how cold Canada can get! As I told her one day, “If he was your man, you would not be borrowing money from me, a single mother of two boys.” To top it off, she is always asking me to put money on your pre-paid cell phone for her.

And that’s another thing Why can’t this American brother get her a plan on her phone and han’t talk too long cause you are burning up my minutes.” I would be a very rich woman. Oh brother! I just chuckle and roll my eyes every time that she says this. “My relationship is very important to me,” she says. “What relationship?” I ask her. “I have more of a relationship with myself and I am a single gal,” I think to myself.

Those words bubble up on my tongue to say, but I, of course, say nothing. Besides the fact that she might call me mean-spirited, which she has done in the past on many occasioave her ditch her pre-paid? If I had a penny for every time that she said to me,” “Girl, I cns, she is my personal trainer, and a good one at that. Free personal training three times a week, and the sculpted tush that I have now, thanks to her, make me keep quiet. “No need to ruin the round rump” I rationalize to myself. “Summer is here and my rear is looking more and more like Jennifer Lopez’s or Kim Kardashian’s butt every day. So of course, I say nothing. In my opinion there is no penis that gratifying for me to drive hundreds of miles for, in the snow or hail. I suggested that she try to receive her, “sexual satisfaction,” for a lack of a better description for it, via the telephone. Everyone in a long distance relationship understands what I mean.