However, attorney-at-law, Maurice Maitland explains, “no one willfully abandons their kids. I don’t think they are abandoning. Sometimes they have a baby-mother situation as they sleep around with too many different women.

These men therefore lack the resources to take of the children.” Senior Pastor of the North Bronx Seventh-Day Adventist Church, Horace Russell, says the
biblical plan is to have both parents involved in the life of a child.
Russell further claims that many black men are only interested in sex, and since they do not have to carry the child, they disappear and move on to the next woman. “It’s the cycle of poverty,” he concludes.

“Statistically, 40% of our black men are abandoning their kids,” says Queens District 31 Councilman, James Sanders Jr. “Any percentage is a bad percentage, but 40% is a crisis. There are many reasons why black men are
leaving their kids, but none is forgivable. Economically, some can’t
support, so they abandon their children.

We all need to draw a stronger line. When men talk about leaving,
we all need to tell them that it’s wrong. Every man should make the
effort to be a good father,” Councilman Sanders states. Bronx comedian, Crazy Norman says “the system has a lot to do with it. Police can see you on
the street, pull you over, and you get a record. Sometimes we get ourselves
into trouble. But some of us don’t have a father figure. The  mother was the mother and the father. You do need family. This has been going on for centuries.

Years ago, a father would leave and say he’s going to Cuba for five
days, and never return. But you can look at this in different ways and
dissect it. Sometimes the men did not abandon, but he was not in a
relationship with the woman.”

However, networking engineer, Norman Blake believes that today’s
society tells its black men that they are not needed. “The image portrayed
is that fathers are just needed for money. There are many black men who are not grounded. They don’t feel important. If they saw the importance of fatherhood, they would be more willing to step up,” says the father of four.

“It’s a psychological issue that needs to be addressed by men as individuals,” says movie producer, Bees Hive. “This [separation] stems down from slavery when slave masters separated the men from their women and children. When you separate the man from the family, the family is vulnerable because the
strength is gone,” Bees Hive states.

Many people claim that Father’s Day is not appreciated. “Sometimes fathers don’t even remember Father’s Day,” says Melbourne Francis. “Fathers don’t place as much emphasis on their holiday as mothers do.” “Father’s Day is not as valued as Mother’s Day but it should be just as important,” says student
Dejean B.

However, businessman Aaron Golding disagrees. “I wouldn’t say there is little support for Father’s Day. Mother’s Day just gets more
support. The mother entails a broader sense of responsibility.

They often nurture and bond with their child more because they carried the child. Society places more emphasis on the role of the mother. Fathers are not always recognized.” “Women are, and often expected to be rewarded for nine months of carrying a child, something that men can’t do. Men are
mostly bread winners and are away

from home a lot more than mothers,so their roles are undermined,” says
a mother of two, Keisha Blake.

Lionel Eli with 15 year-old student Iman Mulesa at Tam Heather Curling and Tennis Club in Canada.

Lionel Eli, a former Barbadian Davis Cup player now based in Toronto, said that in this year’s challenging global economic environment he is prepared to offer his treasured database of sporting clients to the region for the design and promotion of fitness getaways.

The president of the Lionel Eli Tennis Academy, who also is a respected personal trainer and injury therapist, commented, “we believe the Caribbean is the perfect location for North Americans to escape from both the stresses of life and the cold wintry conditions we experience each year … so I look forward to offering tennis and health and wellness packages to our existing database of sporting enthusiasts here in North America.”

This month Eli travels to his native Barbados with an entourage of Canadian tennis players who will participate in a week-long tennis camp, including playing friendly matches with Paragon Tennis Club.

Eli believes that the Caribbean continues to give lip service to the concept of sports tourism and believes the region is still “missing the ball” by not attracting the thousands of potential visitors who are interested in training in ideal climatic conditions.

“We plan to extend our program beyond Barbados this year and approach destinations like St. Lucia, St. Maarten, Jamaica and the Bahamas, provided there is interest in developing what we think is a very lucrative market,” said Eli, who added that he also hoped to share some of his team’s coaching skills with locals in the Caribbean.

Eli, who has helped prepare numerous top-ranked Canadian players secure full tennis scholarships to colleges in the United States, said health and fitness “must become a priority if we are to enjoy quality of life here on earth,” as he encouraged both the public and private sector to participate in the getaway program.

The devastating earthquake that recently hit Haiti, not only killed thousands of people, tore families’ apart, leveled buildings, and robbed a country of its infrastructure; it also demonstrated to us that life should never be taken for granted. This tragedy also forced me to re-examine my own life and ask myself the very tough question, “Am I living my life to the fullest, or do I merely just “exist?”

Needless to say, this question is not always the easiest to answer, as there are many levels that success or happiness is graded upon. Many of us are happy just being housewives; slaves to the daily grind. Don’t get me wrong as the role of a mother and a wife should be embarked upon with the purest of hearts; as a mother’s love is priceless. However, what about your needs as a woman, a human being with your own life? Do you settle when it comes to your own desires?

“But what more do you really want Sandy?” a friend of mine recently asked. “You seem so restless all the time! Just sekkle yuself a bit and tings will work out okay,” he said. That is exactly my point! I am not satisfied with just “Ok”. I want more!

Not riches and fame specifically, but the chance to live my own life, the life given to me by God; to its fullest potential. To others, my ambitions may be misconstrued as being narcissistic or self- centered, as one close male friend jokingly described me recently, while comparing my similarities to another female in the “biz”. It is safe to say that this female entertainer was not a fan of my effervescent personality and sharp, but sometimes devilish, yet playful wit.

“She tink se yu full of yuself,” my friend told me, as this entertainer had disclosed to him recently. “Who cares?” I asked him, laughing out loudly with a gut busting laugh; finding the whole situation amusing and highly entertaining. “She does not know me so why is she watching me? I am not in any race with anyone but myself. Like Oprah suggested, I never look at the person beside me and I just focus on the finish line,” I said to him. Women are often times wrapped up in watching others, never focusing on themselves.” ‘Who does she think she is,” is often whispered behind our backs, while others judge and mock our ambitions. Our lives as mothers, wives and even back stabbing girlfriends, often rob us of the opportunity to harness our own creativity, and “be all that you can be,” as the army slogan suggests.

As Mo’nique recently demonstrated to us by winning a Golden Globe Award, all things are possible and all dreams are attainable. Love and live as if your life depended upon it, as on that day of reckoning in front of God, there should be no regrets in meeting your maker. Ask that man out on a date that you like. Take that trip to Paris or hike the Appalachian Trail! Bungee jump if you want to; just live as if your life depended upon it.

On my own day of atonement, because as we all know that death and taxes are unavoidable, if I am asked by God, “Now what did you do with the life that I granted you Sandy?” I would like my answer to be quick and joyous. “Well Lawd, you know that there was the little ting called an Oscar that I won, and oh yeah, I raised two handsome men on my own who are now both doctors. By the way Lawd, did you ever get the book that I sent you in the mail, the one that I wrote? It became a bestseller you know Lord!

But why am I even saying this to you, the almighty one? Lord, as we all know, you see and know all things; whether it be good or bad.

———–
Sandy Daley is an actress, writer and a radio and TV host. She may be reached at
sandydaley88@hotmail.com, www.sandydaley.blogspot.com or at www.sandydaley.com.

The most recent is the popular, Top Dot Mortgage, while less than a year ago, 1st Republic Mortgage Bankers and Lavette M. Bills/MTC Real Estate were in the spotlight.

Two months after Howard F. Pitkin, Banking Commissioner for Connecticut issued a ‘Notice of Intent’ to revoke its license, 1st Republic and its principal Scott Sisskind were slapped with several lawsuits to recover some $16 millions for breach of contract and fraudulent conveyance in violation of New York debtor and creditor laws. The bank was  later forced to cease operation.
In April of 2009, the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s New York Field Division, filed fraud charges against the self-styled “foreclosure specialist” and a regular guest on WVIP Radio 93.5 FM, Lavette M. Bills. She was arrested and is now facing several counts of bank fraud, wire fraud, and false statements.

1st Republic, Bills and Top Dot were major sponsor of Linkup programmes on 93.5 FM and were personally endorsed by the owner of Linkup Media, David “Squeeze” Annakie.

During his daily radio programs, Annakie always appealed to his fellow Caribbean and African American audience to do business with the companies as according to him “I have done my research and they are the best.”

An excellent radio communicator with youthful exuberance, Annakie was well paid to promote 1st Republic Mortgage, Bills and more recently Top Dot.

However, these companies from all reports were not the best and are now hurting people. The radio listeners and members of the Caribbean communities are now confused as another “Linkup Radio” endorsed bank is in trouble.

As a shrewd businessman, Annakie appears to be well focus on meeting the needs of his high paying clients, but he needs to be more selective of the companies or individuals he is endorsing.

It is the responsibility of all radio personalities to help protect the listening public from dishonest and corrupt people who use the media to attract innocent customers.

Add More RAM
A very effective way to boost your computer’s speed is to increase your RAM or random access memory. RAM is the place where your computer stores temporary information that is needed to maintain open applications. With more RAM, your computer can store more information and consequently run more applications.

If you run out of RAM, you will experience choppy videos and music, and stuttered responses to keyboard and mouse commands. You can increase your RAM by upgrading or adding more RAM modules. RAM modules can have a capacity of 256MB, 512MB, 1GB and 2GB.

Run Antivirus and Antispyware Software
Viruses, spyware, adware and malware all reduce your computer’s speed. These malicious programs can run stealthily in the background and hijack your files and processes.

To deal with these threats, scan your computer frequently — especially after surfing the Web.
There are many good antivirus and antispyware software available for free on the Internet, but the best way to stay protected is to purchase paid software that offer real time protection. With real time protection, viruses and unwanted files can be spotted, blocked or removed the moment they enter or attempt to breach your system.

Close Unnecessary Applications

A very simple way to deal with a lazy computer is to decrease its workload! If you are fond of running many programs in the background, close those that you do not immediately need and keep the number of open applications at a minimum. With fewer tasks to juggle, your computer can better manage your open applications.
Try out these quick and easy fixes and watch your computer speeds soar!

I have worked with many parents who have been through a tough and difficult school period with their children’s teachers. The teacher was not as receptive to the child’s needs or supposedly disliked the child for no particular reason.
The parents claimed their child was picked on by the teacher or singled out for misbehaviors that were often unnoticed when expressed by other students in the class.
This experience is often a source of pain for parents…they experience the child’s hurt as if it were their own and feel a sense of betrayal and injustice by the teacher.
After all, teachers are supposed to be fair, loving, and sensitive, aren’t they? Well, teachers are human and life isn’t always fair. I will never know all the circumstances that led to these conflicts between teacher, parent, and child, but I do believe that parents must make a concerted effort not to create the same situation with a new teacher.
I know it might be challenging to change old feelings and beliefs about teachers, but you have to try for your child’s sake. Not every teacher is going to respond to your child the way the previous teacher did.

Furthermore, once you become open to more positive experiences, your child will follow suit and will become more optimistic as well.
Here are some ways to make this change:
1. Pay attention to your negative thoughts about this new school experience. For example, just because the teacher reprimands your child does not mean that the teacher hates him.
2. Are you interpreting the situation accurately? Or are negative emotions clouding your assessment?  For example, do you think that the teacher hates your daughter just because she does not smile at your child? There could be other reasons, such as; the teacher may have been distracted at that moment.
3. Try not to let negative past experiences dominate your perception of all teachers. This will lead to distorted perceptions without evidence.

Contact: Desiree Grand at 914-665-6786 or e-mail: dgrand@mtvernoncsd.org